Just sad...

Good day to all of you!

Last night Cory and I took Sherri and Bill out to a great restaurant for some good food and conversation as a thank you for all they have done, do for us, and will do in the future. We really enjoyed sitting down at a quiet restaurant together. We had some laughs.

When we returned home around 9:30p (I know we are crazy!) we noticed that one of the kids pumpkins had been stolen while we were out. It angered me on so many levels. First and foremost I was appalled that someone had the nerve to walk up to our house, to our front step, and take our pumpkins while the kids were inside~awake! Mother bear will come out if I ever catch the little rascals. Some people have no respect. Thank goodness I did not catch them because if I did I was in just the right mood to take after them.

It is so interesting how a person can change overnight or within a course of hours even. This whole experience has changed me in so many ways. I still have my humor, thank goodness. Some of these changes I know are temporary. Some changes will be with me for a life time. I am not ready to share all of those yet- I don't even know them all yet. I have lots of time for reflection, in the dark of the night when I can't sleep.

I was up really early this morning overcome with great sadness. No cries today, that was a first. I was just extremely sad. I just felt empty. This whole grieving process throws you so many different emotions. Nothing in a book can prepare you for all that you will feel. The hardest part is that there are no two people that grieve the same. This could be our biggest challenge to overcome as a family.

I think we care going to try and keep this a normal Saturday. It is extremely hard to believe that 2 weeks ago we lost Beckett. It seems so long ago but yet so fresh. We took Holden to his last flag football game today. Beckett would be so proud-he scored 5 touchdowns! One of them an interception...it was fun to watch and I know Beckett would have looked up to him so much. We are probably going to head to the pumpkins patch too. The kids need some normal, even though I'd love to curl up in a dark room and just be. The kids are a motivator to not sulk all day long.