Grace is getting better! Yeah. But of course, since my husband was on a mancation this weekend, Grace had to start having trouble breathing...which lead to a phone call to ask a nurse...which lead to an ER visit on a Friday night. Thanks to Keith for staying with Liv while I took Grace in. And of course once we got taken back to the room, Grace's breathing started to improve. The Dr. thinks she was having some kind of pulmonary spasm. Once she had a nebulizer treatment, she was feeling a ton better. We got out of there by 10:30pm. I was a little concerned for our safety. The ER was crawling with people. I wanted to make a bubble around us to ward off all the infectious bugs that had to be swirling in there! When we got outside I looked like a lunatic looking around us, keeping Grace tight to me...just waiting for someone to approach us. I have a bit of a wild imagination at times.

We had another appointment to day for Grace. Her lungs sound good now:) But momma sure did not feel good when the Dr. asked me if I was pregnant!!! I worked out today too! I looked down to my stomach...it was not even protruding!! I once asked someone if they were pregnant when they were not, so I guess it is coming back to bite me. Believe me...I have NEVER asked someone that question again!

Already thinking way too much about the Dr.'s question, Grace decides to tell me my fortune. She comes down with a sequined scarf wrapped around her head. She looks at my hands and then says, "Yep, you will be a grandma when I am 19!" So I am looking pregnant and just learned one of my children will have a baby awfully young;) Lots to think about:)

YIPPEE! Grace has pnuemonia too! That nasty bug has hit and taken down Cory, Liv, Grace, Sherri, Cole, and Ella. Who is next???

If you can not handle vomit stories then discontinue reading!

Poor Gracie girl was laying in bed all day yesterday. She only ate a few small things. We let her camp out in our room last night (much to her brother's dismay). I am so glad we did bcause she started vommiting as well! UGH. She moaned and wimpered in her sleep most of the night. Then before sunrise she had another bout of vommiting. Poor thing! She was so miserable this morning. She was buring up with a fever and could hardly move. She is one tough cookie to take out but she was knocked on her butt this morning. Luckily I was able to nab an early doctor appointment. Poor thing was crying because it was so hard for her to walk.

The chest x-rays confirmed the pnuemonia. It settled right into her right lung, but her oxygen levels were good...so that was great news. I made a quick run in to the store to get her medicine and Gatorade. I always thought water was just fine but this doctor wanted her to have some sugar/salt drinks. It was Grace's lucky day. She did not even have to settle for G2!! Her eyes were as big as saucers when she saw that I bought her a "big" jug! She got about 2 sips in before he tummy was going to spit it back up. Just as we got to the front door and explosive array of purple, green and yellow was nicely displayed on our front stoop. Liv was shell shocked. She had no idea what the heck was going on. Once Grace got composed, we got the giggles about the rainbow of colors she so nicely shot out. I went out shortly to go clean it up, only to find it completely frozen! LOL. So watch your step if you stop by...not much I can do:)

I hate to see my little girl so sick and lifeless. But, now I definately know that the reason I can not keep the house neat and clean is because of Grace. I always had a hunch she was the culprit. Now I know. Now that she is kept to one room the mess is contained:)

Here's to hoping Holden and I escape this nasty little mycroplasm that has infected Sher's family and mine!

As a stay at home mom, we need lots of activities to keep busy and away from the television. This usually includes an art project or 10 per day. I try to let them use all the things I despise cleaning up. Glitter, glue, and paint hitting the top of the list. Generally, it takes a lot of persuasion and many promises that they will clean it all up themselves (yeah, that always happens). I tend to eventually let them do it. They seems so darn sincere! So I tend to let them foster their artistic abilities in a variety of ways. Am I annoyed that our new kitchen set has permanent paint stains on the leather? YES. Am I annoyed that there is permanent glitter on my kitchen floor? YES. Am I still disgusted by the paint that is never coming off our driveway and outdoor steps despite my best efforts and the power washer? YES. Am I annoyed that the door to door salesman that tried to sell me a $60 bottle of cleaning product was able to scrub off a strip of that paint in a matter of seconds but I refused to buy a cleaner that expensive? YES. I guess I only have myself to blame.

Here is where I draw the line...lip gloss slathered all over the really ugly mirrored closet doors in the girls room! There were plenty of lip imprints as well. I can just see Grace smooching herself in the mirror over and over again! She thought it was ART! She thought it was a GOOD DECORATION! Naturally with entire tubes of lip gloss emptied, there had to be some on the carpeting too. A nice ruby red color. After about an entire roll of paper towels, I still was getting a glitter and pink tinted residue. Thank goodness my first round of dish soap lifted most of the stains from the carpet.

Everyday it is some kind of mess. Every. Single. Day. I often wonder if this will change once she is in school full time. She keeps me on my toes. She is one in a million. It is funny. A lot of the time her "messes" frustrate me, but on days like today when she has been laying in bed all day because she is sick...I actually miss her antics:) Oh wait, I brought her a go-gurt to have in bed. I later went up to check on her and I found a bunch of dixie cups filled with yogurt. I guess even having a fever can't stop her from making some kind of mess:)

I have been honest about my anger and resentment towards God for taking Beckett from us...way too soon. In that first year, I had many awful thoughts run through my mind. Thoughts that made me unsure of how I would or could continue a relationship with God. I did not trust Him. I did not feel much love for Him. I felt guilty for having those feelings. I'd have to remind myself of what my sister told me. God will still love you through your temper tantrums. Just like a parent has that unconditional love for their child...even if they make some bad decisions.

I have worked through my anger on my own. I had come to a place of contentment. I do still have flare ups from time to time, but mostly I have let that anger go.

This weekend our pastor spoke on grief and how one can live through it. Anyone that knows our pastor knows what a wonderful speaker he is. He is so real. He does not seem to pretend or sugar coat. He seems so vulnerable and he shares that. I think that is why so many people respect and admire him. Their family has experienced more tragedy than a typical one. So when they talk about grief you tend to listen and hang on their words.

They lost a baby girl to SIDS when she was just 6 months old. We share a connection in that sense. I know it was difficult for the both of them to help us bury our baby. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I respect them and I listen to them...because if they can carry on and trust in God then I most certainly can.

One part of the sermon stuck out in particular to me. He said that he could not understand why God took their Katie from them. And then he said something that really resonates with me...helps me in a new way...God did not take Katie from them. Death took Katie from them. God was there to save Katie from death. I had an Oprah moment. An "Aha moment". I feel like I was meant to be there to hear those words.

We have had a week so far!

Monday morning Liv and Cory were so sick we made a trip to the walk-in. Both were sent on their way with a "virus" that needed to works its course. Monday was Grace's birthday so she was a little disappointed that the sickness was raining on her parade. We had plans to go to Chuck-E-Cheese (ick). However, both Liv and Cory were in no condition. I had to put my negotiating skills to use. I suggested a picnic at home and that we'd all go out to a restaurant together when everyone was feeling better. But, that was not what she wanted (she dislikes a change in plans). She for sure wanted Liv to be there on her birthday. This conversation was going no where fast. She ended up running upstairs in tears to my bedroom and locking the door. I talked her into opening the door for me, only to have her lock herself in the closet in a stand off. "I am not coming out until you say daddy can come to the restaurant!" I felt horrible. She was so sad that her birthday did not go as planned. Eventually, we got her to come out but it took some promises to be made. We got it worked out that I would pick up Qdoba and later on in the week when everyone is feeling better she could invite a friend with us to Chuck-E-Cheese. Whew!! Once that was settled it was all smiles again (until she has been told each night since...still not ready to leave the house:().

Liv had trouble getting to sleep that night (understatement). She was not comfortable. Finally, around 11p, I gave in and brought her to our bed and gave her some Tylenol. She maybe slept for a half hour. The rest was moaning, whining, and thrashing while her eyes were closed. Around 12:30 am, I had to get her out of our room. Cory was sick and needed sleep. There was NOTHING I could do to calm her. She was miserable. She cried and cried, while pathetically resting with her head on my shoulder. About 2am I called ask a nurse. They told me to take her to the ER right away. Ugh...really? I waffled for a while and around 2:30a...I decided to take her in.

She was taken back right away and examined. After another hour of her crying and thrashing around the doctor came in and said she had pneumonia. I was relieved there was a quick answer to what was causing her all this pain. After getting a couple of injections of antibiotics and watching her for reaction, I had a completely exhausted baby girl who could barely keep her eyes open. We got home around 5am. She was so exhausted and sick. I laid down with her for  couple hours of shut eye before getting kids ready for school.

Liv woke up not a happy camper. She was so sick and tired. I told the kids what happened in the middle of the night. Of course, after that they announced they both had headaches and stomach aches...ugh. I was not really in the mood to drill them and reluctantly let them stay home. Meanwhile, Cory was going to head to the cities for a presentation he had to give. He really was in no condition to go anywhere. So I was going on maybe 2 hours total of sleep (have not done that for years!) taking care of one really sick kid and two that were clearly not sick enough to stay home. One was completely fibbing! It was a LONG, LONG day.

Now it is Thursday and Liv has turned a corner. She slept a full night last night. She was not crying when she woke up. She seemed in good spirits. Lots of smiles and even some teasing. Thank goodness! It is so hard to watch your little ones so ill. You are completely helpless. I kept thinking I'd walk into her room and find her unconscious and not breathing. That is something that haunts me since Beckett has died. I can really dream up horrible scenarios and I get so worked up.

Hopefully, things will get back to normal. So far the other kids and I have been healthy through all of this. I hope we have avoided it! The kids and I are supposed to spend spring break next week in St. Michael and Watkins. Not very tropical but we get our lodging and food for free:)

Unfortunately, due to all the illness and missed days of work, we are not able to take Holden to the state hockey tourney tonight:( Our hs team plays tonight at 8pm. He is settling for late night appetizers while watching on tv. Hopefully they win and we can make it to Friday nights game. GO SPUDS!

Happy Birthday to my sweet Girl Grace!

Grace turned 6 years old today! It is a pretty exciting day. Yesterday she had some friends from school join her at a gymnastics gym for some fun play time. It was a fun group of girls. They were all so sweet and kind. Grandma Karen had to help me out because Cory had to be at Holden's last hockey game for the season. An unfortunate scheduling, but it went just fine with Karen's help. The girls had a lot of fun!

When I woke this morning to get the kids up, Grace was not in her bed. I peered downstairs and could see the glow of the television. Liv and I walked down and started singing Happy Birthday. Grace stopped me right away. She said, "MOM, you forgot to put a pull up on me last night!" I apologized and asked if her bed was all wet. "NOPE, dry. It was all dry! I got up and went potty in the morning." She had the most proud look on her face. She giggled and said "It must be because I turned 6! In the process of telling me, she took of her pj bottoms and undies (quicker than I have ever seen her move) just to prove it to me. It was a wonderful accomplishment! She has never had that happen since she was 3. Hopefully this is the start of something good. It would be wonderful not to have to buy pull-ups anymore!

She is so happy today. I loved watching her get off the bus and run up the driveway with her birthday crown on! So cute:)

The only bummer is that daddy is down sick. He woke up sick on Sunday morning and really has not gotten out of bed since. I took both Liv and him to the walk-in today. I was nervous Cory had influenza A. He was negative for all of that and probably has a virus that needs to run its course. Liv checked out fine too. She is sick too. She was so pathetic this morning especially. She just whined and moaned. She is on day 5 of her illness. Hopefully she will turn around soon. It is so sad to watch tiny ones cough and have a tough time breathing. Toodles has not been sleeping well either, but that did lead to a couple hours of her sleeping by my side, her tiny had wrapped around my neck. I love to feel her sweet breath hit my cheek.

So...with Cory down and out...that may leave me to take the kids to Chuck E Cheese for Grace's birthday!! UGH. Number 1...ick, it is Chuck E Cheese. Number 2...food is not too tasty. Number 3...I get all anxious just walking into the place, it is like I can see all the germs crawling on every surface! I am really trying to sway her into a fun picnic on the living room floor. So far she is not buying it!

Her favorite birthday cake...chocolate doughnuts!