Sherri is out of surgery...sitting in recovery. I guess it all went well. The challenge is in front of her though. We will take good care of her at Christmas, she may have to drink wine out of a straw..but it will make for good pictures. We discussed bedazzling her neck brace...make it 'fancy'. I wish there was so much more that I could do to help, she really took care of us well when Beckett died~still does.

Well we have made a bittersweet decision to just spend Christmas day with my mom and dad-at their house. Every year Santa comes to my parents house, I am so glad that we can do that. It is a very special morning for all of us. I think mom and dad enjoy watching the kids open all their presents. Holden used to get so excited about underwear. I think nowadays he'd be a little embarrassed! He has become 'modest'. It all started when Ella freaked out because she saw his butt. Ever since then, he has been sensitive about the issue!

Back to my original thought...also every year we go to my grandma and grandpa's for lunch and chit chat. However, I just don't have it in me to make an appearance. I have not seen anyone since a week before Beckett died. I have not hugged anyone or cried with anyone yet. The holidays have been so hard on me, on us already. I just can't walk in to their house...with a smile on my face and greet everyone at once. It is just too overwhelming. It is so hard to face people you have not seen, people that you care about. I get physically sick. I just want to be present for my kids that day. I want to try and share in their joy. I know that if I go to their house I will be a mess. What I am doing, is taking care of me. I need to do what I know is best for my family and I at this time in our lives. I know it is really not that big of a deal...but I have been going there for 32 years! I know everyone will understand. If there are people who want to visit with us, you are welcome to stop out at mom and dad's. We might even venture to town after Christmas. We are staying until Sunday.

Well, i am being summoned to come and watch Muppet Christmas with Grace...I better take this opportunity to snuggle when she is asking. It does not happen too often!