Lucky me, I get to work in the infirmary today. Holden is home sick so we are all here sick. Except Cory, he is at work sick. I told him no school, no hockey or basketball tonight. I think we might be having a little disagreement later this afternoon (Holden not Cory:).

If there is anyone out there...who has advice...for a mom and dad who are potty training an (almost 4 year old) for one year...who knowingly can use the toilet, but just chooses not to depending on "how she is feeling"...please enlighten me. We have tried just about every possible reward, system, punishment, consequence...yesterday I think I made her change about 5 bottoms. We had a nice little snuggle and talk last night about how she was going to do it right the next day. She looks at you with those big, beautiful brown eye and puts a hand on each cheek and gives you a big kiss. You want to believe, but you know better. Boy are we in t-r-o-u-b-l-e!!! I am afraid I might resort to the tying her underwear around her neck method. That method has taunted me all my life, mother:)!

I want to thank the people who have recently wrote to us or sent us a card. It really does mean a lot. Don't ever doubt, should I-should I not...people that are in grief are comforted by the caring words. You never know when a person might open that note or e-mail and how it can change mood of the day.

On another off note, this morning at breakfast...the kids announced that they want to plant a garden for Beckett. I just wrote about that Monday. Grace wants to plant snapdragons and a rose. They want to make some homemade stepping stones. Holden thinks daisies might be a good choice. I just wonder where these thoughts develop, but they warm my heart. It makes me feel good to know that they still think of Beckett a lot too. I just don't want him to ever be forgotten. He is a part of our family and still is. He has changed all of our lives.

There was a friend of ours, well I met him through Cory, who died when Holden was pretty young. He died of cancer, way too young and so full of life. He was one of those people who everyone considered him a best friend because he had a unique way of making you feel like you were the coolest person in the room. Anyway, I remember something from one of the eulogies given by his sister. She said Geoff's biggest fear was not dying, but people would forget that he was still here. That really struck a cord with me then and now. I kind of feel like keeping Beck's memory alive will keep him near us. I think that thinking of him all the time will keep him here with us. I think looking at pictures of him and talking about him will keep him here.