My free time has dwindled down to pretty much nothing these days...and the "time" I do have is spent doing loads and loads of laundry and picking up the house over and over again. So the blog has taken a backseat. I feel guilty for plopping Liv down to play alone while I write...but she is having fun knocking Bert and Ernie around. Liv has blossomed over the last 2 weeks. She is very interactive. She talks alot. She is playing with toys. She is just A LOT of fun right now! She is nearly 4 months old already! She still has big blue eyes, auburn hair and definately has her own look. She is definately more a combo of the kids. She continues to be a joy to all of us. The kids adore her and she never goes long without someone in her face.

Grace has a big event coming up in her life. She is having her tonsils and adnoids removed this Thursday! Gulp!! I am super nervous for my little girl. She is in good hands but no one wants to see their child in pain. And, I certainly don't want her to get pulled off to the OR without us. I know how scary it can be and I am an adult! We took her to pick out all the "fun" things she gets to eat after surgery. Pretty sure we went over the top but it is one thing she was excited about and we have plenty of neighborhood kids that can help polish it all off:) We are taking her to a class tonight so she will get to see what "surgery" is all about. She was jumping on the trampoline yesterday with some friends. I was listening to her tell them, "I am So mad! I am having surgery in 4 days!! I am so mand about it. But, it'll be okay." On one hand she is thrilled to get all of this "extra" attention. On the other hand she is frightened. "I just can't get surgery out of my head mom!" Wish us luck and a speedy recovery.

Grace and I went to see Beck's grave yesterday. We have not been there since the snow started falling. Grace was actually looking forward to going. That is a big change! We went and cleaned his place up a little. There was a balloon there that said it's a girl. At first I thought, a little ironic that a balloon with "it's a girl" would have got blown over here. And then it dawned on me that obviously someone went there and attached the balloon to one of his flower baskets. It warms my heart that others think of him...visit him...other people than just us. I have been there on several occasions when there is a trinket there, left by someone else. I can't even tell you as a mother how that touches me. I read a quote on another person's blog the other day. "No one is ever truely dead, until they are no longer loved." Thank you to so many that keep Beck's memory alive. Thanks to those that continue to love him. Thanks to those who let me talk about him whenever I feel like it. Thanks to those who ask how we are doing. Thanks to those who have been there with me when I needed it most. And a special thanks to the other moms whom I can relate to that have been there! Our "support" group is very important to me.

We are coming up on 1 1/2 years since we met and said goodbye to our little boy. Not a single hour goes by that I do not think of him.