OK, so these are not "new" photos. Liv is about 3 weeks older today...which tells me I need to get my camera out a little more. Liv is 10 weeks old today. Time has simply flown by entirely too fast. I want to hold onto my little baby. I felt closer to Beck in the first 2 months. When I held her...I'd give her a little extra squeeze for Beckett too. More than ever I long to hold our little boy again. I just can't seem to satisfy my need to be closer to him. So, Liv gets all that energy too. She is one loved little girl. Although I am so sad she is getting so much bigger everyday...I am thankful that our tragedy has taught us to slow down and enjoy these moments that will be gone too soon. I really feel I have soaked her all in and will continue to. Beck gave us that gift and for that I am eternally grateful.

Liv is starting to coo a little and she is a little less stingy with her smiles. Last night I had a wonderful hour with her just starting at me. She looked like she had so much to say. She looked really happy and on the verge of busting out in giggles. Then she fell asleep in my arms our faces touching. I am so thankful to have these moments with her. She is such a blessing.

Our little girl will be baptized on Sunday. I know it will be an emotionally challenging few hours. Thankfully I will be surrounded by people I love. They will distract me...they will sense my emotions...they will be supportive. I don't think anyone that was there in our hospital room will ever forget baptizing Beckett. A lot of those same people will stand with us on Sunday as we baptize Liv. Some might think it odd that we baptized Beck being he was already gone. I believe his spirit was in the room with us that night. I just felt strongly that it was something we needed to do. I remember our pastor telling me, "Holly, you know his feet never touched the ground." She was trying to reassure me that his place is in heaven. He was an innocent soul. A special son of God. For me it was a symbol of us giving him to God for safe keeping until we get to hold him again. I couldn't see much through all the tears, but I could hear the words. I remember seeing Holden and Grace's little fingers touch his head, through tear filled eyes, with Holy water. Those fingers will this time touch Liv's head. This will be a special day.

Liv is needing me now. She has had enough of Grace entertaining her with every noisy toys she can find:)