We hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! We had an excellent and relaxing day! The food was delicious (I can say that because I did not make it:). The kids had a lot of fun entertaining each other. We got up at 4am to brave the crowds for Christmas shopping. Having a large belly gets you a little special treatment. We took a break to head to the clinic for a NST and quick chat with our doctor.

Baby looked great on the NST. Lots of dips and peaks. We anxiously awaiting our doctor to come in and discuss our options. We asked if Friday was the only day that we could deliver. She was direct and said, "You know the risks. Your baby is not mature, but yes we can deliver earlier if you want to." I think she saw the wild look in my eye because she suggested we do it for my mental health. We walked out to see what was available in her schedule. We are scheduled first case Tuesday, December 1st. This is an agonizing decision. This was a decision I thought would be easy...given all of my feelings. Once it was switched I felt a wave of emotions, not all necessarily good. I felt relief. I felt happy to have a date. I felt my heart sink...hoping we are making a smart decision. All the what ifs flood me. This is what we wanted. However, when faced with making a concious decision about when to have this baby (knowing what we know), we will be responsible for the outcome. There is no where else to place the blame if something happens. It is a difficult decision to make. It would be easier if I just went into labor naturally, then it is out of our control. Ironic when you are given a little control you are scared of taking it. We do know through all of the research we have done that our baby should be fine. There is a very small chance the baby will have trouble breathing. I think the chance of having a repeat stillbirth and the chance of breathing difficulties are about the same. I will be 38 weeks and 3 days on Tuesday. My heart is heavy with fear. However, I believe I would feel that way no matter what.

So, Tuesday is the scheduled day. We are hoping for an uncomplicated c-section and a healthy baby.