Here are a couple of pictures of the kids at our annual Cragun's trip. The weather was a bit on the chilly side but we still enjoyed our time very much. The kids just love it there! Grace wanted to stay for 11 days. We did many things together and still got a little time for ourselves too. We enjoyed a little golf and the girls went for a spa treatment that was wonderful! I had a pregnancy massage. I was able to comfortably lay on my stomach with the help of a special pillow. Oh, how I miss laying on my stomach:)

Everything we did there I imagined doing it with Beckett. He sure is missed. It hurts so bad to know that we will never get to make any memories with him. We just get to imagine what joy and fun he would have brought to our lives. I miss our baby so dearly. I still think about him ALL of the time. I imagine what he felt like in my arms and I try to go back there but it is so damn painful that I need to stop myself. Sometimes it seems as if it were all a dream. That it never really happened, something that awful could have never happened but it did and it makes me so ill to think about it.

But as I sit here thinking about it little bambino is giving me delicate kicks. Oh, how I long to meet this baby and hold her/him. Smelling their head. Having them nuzzle in and make little noises. I know it will be an incredibly joyous moment...with some sadness in remembering our little baby boy and how still he was. I just pray that we will have a little baby to hold and take home with us in just over 3 months.