We have just come off a very fun weekend. My sister and her family and my mom came on Thursday to spend the weekend. Mom generously came to watch all the kids while we were in a 2 day golf tournament. We had a lot of fun together. I am sure mom is tired but the kids really enjoyed having her around. So did we...who wouldn't? We came back between event on Saturday and the house smelled of homemade bread, carmel rolls, homemade pizza crusts, and chocolate chip cookies! All the while the kids were happy, in one piece, and the house was picked up!! The kids are begging me to make bread like grandma...trouble is it would never taste the same. We have enjoyed homemade toast every morning and for snack as well...mmmm!

As you know from the previous blog we had a good ultrasound with the one bit of information that has sent me into a quiet tizzy. The height of my anxiety came yesterday. On Saturday afternoon as we sat around with our feet up I had felt the baby move. I think I have felt it before but this was a "sure thing". The little kicks were even strong enough that Cory was able to feel it. Very few and far between at this point but still a heart warming feeling. Monday there were no movements that I knew for certain were from the baby. On Tuesday I went into full fledged panic mode that the baby was not going to make it. I could not feel it all day. I would lay down and patiently wait but nothing. I thought about calling the Dr and requesting a heartbeat check but I didn't want to be over anxious or hear any horrible news. I cried at the thought of burying a second child. I prayed to God that I could not bear to loose this one. I begged him to not take this baby from us. I don't know who I'd become.

This morning as I laid in bed reading I felt the baby wiggle several times. I feel a weight lifted off of me today. I feel like I can function today without being short with my kids. I feel so full of anxiety...fearing the worst. I am approaching 19 weeks. So approximately only 17 weeks left...that sounds like a daunting task emotionally. I know that with feeling the movements a new anxiety will settle in. Even with all the extra care...this will be an huge accomplishment to make it through this without being scarred for life.

I want to thank Karen for the solar light for Beckett's garden, it looks really good. I think it is complete. Thank you!