From the moment the ultrasound lady slowly and carefully closed her laptop after performing an ultrasound on Beckett...I knew our baby was dead. Our hearts and minds were a flurry of fear and the most intense anxiety I have ever felt. It was only a minute later when what we knew was confirmed with those awful words. "I am so sorry. There is no longer a heartbeat." From that moment it was a flurry. It is amazing how when you are in this position a million questions are thrown your way and you have to answer them all. BUT, you simply are not there in your mind. You are shut down. You are utterly devastated. Thank goodness for everyone who rallied around and helped us answer the questions and try to make decisions.

We were surrounded by so much love. And sometimes, there are people you don't even know that end up being so memorable. One of those people was Nick Tunheim. He was the person from the funeral home that took care of our little boy. He was wonderful. He was so calm and reassuring. I trusted him completely...without even knowing him. I remember when he came to our home for the final arrangements. He came here because we could not go there. I distinctly remember him asking me how I wanted Beckett to arrive at the cemetary. I remember him offering to drive him in his car so we would not scare our other kids with a hearse. I remember asking "You would do that?" He was so authentic, genuine and  empathetic. He was a perfect match for our family.

Today, I was checking in on the rialeephotography blog. There was a story of family who was traveling back from Ethiopia with their adopted daughter. Ria was there to capture the momentous occasion. I was crying from the very first picture. Towards the end of the phots there was a picture of the whole family. I recognized the father immediately. He was the gentleman from the funeral home that took care of our baby. More tears. Now, I know why he was so special. He posted a link to their blog http://www.annandnick.com/.

I guess I needed a good cry because the tears just won't stop flowing.