On Monday, thanks to a great friend who volunteered to watch the girls, I listened to Natalie Holloway's mom speak on hope. It was powerful to be in the same room with someone who has gone and continues to through some tough stuff. Well, tough, is an understatement. Her words were ones I could take home because I know that anyone who had lived through a horror such as hers, is someone to listen to. She spoke about making a conscious choice everyday to make it a good day. That is so true. Even though your heart feels empty and the pain and anger creep up...you need to make a choice to make it a good day. Keeping things in perspective is a difficult task some days more than others.

Words are often difficult to live by, especially when you've been knocked down a time or two (or too many to count). It is something I try to do each day. Some days are more successful than others, but the human spirit is amazing. Beth's spirit in the aftermath of her daughters hideous death is something to be inspired by! I am so glad I was able to be there. And to my other friend...thanks for the ticket!

As I posted earlier in the month, a beloved friend of mine died. I was able to attend his wake and funeral which was such a beautiful tribute to him. He has so many friends in his life that loved him to pieces. That was very evident at his services. One can only hope to touch that many people in a short lifetime. Since his funeral, he has been in many of my dreams. He is either just sitting there with a smile or simply a part of what is going on. I find this so interesting. I think of him often...maybe that is the reason he is always there. However, I think of Beckett all of the time. I used to just sit and think of him before I dozed off hoping he would appear in my dreams that night. I can only think of 2 dreams that he was there and I am not even sure it was Beckett. Both were not peaceful dreams...I just find it interesting that I am having all these peaceful and fun dreams of Coney and for some reason dreams of Beckett just do not happen.

I have been doing some reading on the human spirit, specifically the spirits of babies...I just wonder if there is some connection and if the dreams and the spirit are somehow intertwined. The readings I have looked at say that the spirit is the same age of the person who died. Some say spirits age just like we do on earth. They mature over time...I just wonder if over time Beckett will appear more in my dreams as he gets older in his spirit life. I don't even know if I believe all of that business, but it makes me feel more connected to him. Mediums are really interesting to me. Maybe someday I will decide to go see one.

Please keep my friend and her family in your prayers as they had to say goodbye to a brother and son way too soon this week. There has been so much death and heartache lately. My heart just hurts because I know the pain that all the days and months and years that follow hold for them.