Tuesday is our first appointment with our doctor. I have a pit in my stomach. It is not out of excitement but rather anxieties that we are going to hear the words, "There is no heartbeat." I really hope we have a picture to bring home and show the kids.
I woke on Friday morning around 4:30am after a horrible dream that our new baby was dead. There was no heartbeat. We were devastated. My dreams have been extremely vivid in the last few weeks. Very real. Very real emotions upon waking up. I had to calm myself down...I think this dream was a combo of the upcoming ultrasound and the fact that my nausea had gone away for about 4 days~before the 12 week mark. Since then, I think God has given me some more nausea to help deal with my anxieties. Still-a little bit of panic is settling in. My heart is beating faster and I feel like I can't sit still. The good news is the appointment is just before 9am so I don't have a day to wait~as long as no babies need to be delivered:)
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