5 months have gone by...

I thought I needed to commemorate the passing of 5 months time with a short entry. I can not believe that it has been five months. There is something too those milestones. Everyday sometimes feels like a milestone. With the milestones comes some saddness. I always think of what he would be doing now and how big he would be. My heart still aches to have our little boy with us. Sometimes I think to myself, wow, that really happened. With that amount of time that passes...I just can not believe how far I have come emotionally. There are still moments where my anger takes over or the saddness. For instance, I received a survey in the mail and they state that they only select a very small amount of people. So naturally I scribble in large, capital letters. "My baby died before birth. Please remove me from all of your lists immediately." And I put it in the no postage necessary envelope and mail it off with some satisfaction. I could have just thrown it in the trash. And then there are times when I am amazed at what a long way that I have come in my grief. I believe with all my heart that we never, ever would be here right now as sound as we are...without all of the amazing people who stood by us. I also truely believe that meeting another mom suffering the same loss...has brought me so much further along in this process. I believe God has a hand in putting people where we needed them to be. So after all that sap...I will leave you with a little kid story...

I decided to do a workout video Cory's sister gave to me (it is a good one, very doable). It was not more than 5 minutes before I had a workout partner, Grace. She is with me doing the moves with just her pink Elmo underwear (typical attire while at home). She decided she needed a little more traction and put on her pink boots with the fur. So she is by my side in her calf high boots in her undies doing lunges, jumping jacks, and jump rope. How is a girl supposed to keep her composure? That kid is one fine specimen. I wish I had a few stories of Holden but he is just "too cool" to do quirky things:)