Holden: "Dad, I need a new butt?" Cory: "Why do you need a new butt?" Holden: "Because mine has a crack in it!"  Holden made a funny last night. If this joke is an oldie (still a goodie) we have never heard it before, neither had Holden. He believes this is a quality joke he thought up himself. Since it drew so much attention it has been told many times over since last night! Do butts, farts, and burps ever loose their humor? I know my dad still gets the giggles over a good push, so maybe not...

I got to meet a beautiful, tiny baby on Friday. It is cliche, but I can't believe how fast babies grow. I can hardly remember Livie being that small. Liv is inching up to being 6 months old! I can't believe how fast it went and I really took the time to enjoy and savor every moment I could. She has changed so dramatically. Not so much in the looks department, but in her interactions and physical abilities. She is able to move from one place to another. She was even mobile enough to get to her monitor and throw it out of the crib. Needless to say, that has been moved to another location. She is really enjoying her Johnny Jump Up. She loves to bounce and twirl. She is sitting up already! She needs to be supervised but she balances really well in the middle, but she has not learned how to master not tipping over if she gets off her center. She can blow bubbles with her saliva (always a good one). She has transfered that ability to food. She is eating oatmeal, pears, apples, sweet potatoes and peas. She is also getting the hang of a sippy cup. It is a pretty exciting time for the kids. They love to feed her. They love to help her learn new tricks.

Friday morning all the kids were up early enough to have breakfast together. But why wouldn't they be up early all together? They must have sensed that mom was up late Thursday night...why does it always happen like that? Anyway...I put Liv in her highchair. I started to fix breakfast. When I turned to hand out the food the kids were all lined up. Grace and Holden both pulled a chair beside Liv. It was the cutest thing!!!! They love, love, love her. She is a complete joy to all of us. It helps that she is a mild mannered baby and so smiley. I am so thankful for her presence in our lives. She has made such a tremendous impact on all of us.

I often wonder where I'd be in the grief process if Liv had not been born. There just doesn't seem like there is much time to give in to my pity parties anymore. By the end of the day I am so worn out...I don't even let myself go there. I still think of him many times throughout the day, but I am never alone for more than a couple of minutes to process any of my thoughts that pass through my mind. In a way, that is a blessing. In another way, it makes me feel guilty or disconnected at times. Sometimes I feel so far away from him. That is a really confusing thing. Why do I feel close to him sometimes, but othertimes I feel like we are universes apart? I don't understand. If anyone out there knows of any books written about children in the spiritual world, I'd like to hear about it.